He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize