I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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