Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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