He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
