shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
we should paint friendship bongs
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