Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
