Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
In other news, I just burned my penis
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize