So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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