So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Swine flu is the new snow day.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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