Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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