I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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