shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
