YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
