She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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