Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You may now shotgun with the bride
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
