the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
