I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
