I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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