Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize