Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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