Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
