the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Please don't give away my fajitas
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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