Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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