Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
