they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
