Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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