You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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