About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
