My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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