She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
