Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
