We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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