I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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