if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
