It's Friday. Sex?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
