Will you blow on my dice?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
