She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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