At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
