Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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