Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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