so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
ttyl tear gas
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
