Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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