I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
so much tequila, so little girl.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
