either way he was missing a nipple.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
