But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
