I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I skipped work to stalk him.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
