Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
