We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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