He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
