We're like a lot better than the average bears
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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