Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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