i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
