That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
