You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
