The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
