I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
