Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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