I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
