Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
