if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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