I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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